Bink

My brother, Bentley, died four years ago this month.  In many ways he was a tortured soul and through no fault of his own.  A little background - he and my oldest brother were born of my mom's first marriage.  She grew up with a loving minister father who also happened to be very strict.  I believe this is what caused her to marry so young to a man who appeared to be loving and devoted but turned out to be a wife-beater.  It was the usual cycle - hit her and then lavish her with love and promise to never do it again.  At one point, he threw my brother into a stove because he asked the wrong question.  I think that along with some inherited genes were the reason he was never quite right.  My mom left in the middle of a snowy night, walking to a neighbor's house with her two young sons before the monster woke up.  When she met my dad, it was a dream come true for her because he was as gentle as the monster was violent.  He adopted my brothers, and it didn't dawn on me till I was in my teens that they were my half-brothers.  But I never thought of it that way, and I still don't.
Bentley's nickname was "Bink", and that's all we ever called him.  He never could hold a job for long, but he always managed to get by.  He was a genius mechanic - he could fix anything and everything.    And he loved us to death.  Even as a young man in his twenties, he would pick up me and my sister every weekend to spend the night with him and his wife.  He would usually take us bowling - we loved it.  How many young men want to spend time with little kids?  Whenever he hung up the phone and we said "I love you", he said "I love you more".  We inscribed "We love you more" on his grave marker.
We went to visit his grave today in Manteo - me, Jeff, Morgan, Steph (Morgan's girlfriend), and Chelsea (her daughter).   I never know quite what to do when I'm there.  But today, I just prayed that he finally had some peace, and that he knew how much he was loved.  I think he heard me because I felt God there with us as we stood quietly for those few moments.  That is where I found God today - connecting my heart to Bink's as we stood by his grave.