God in me

I haven't written here in well over a year.  It's crazy because this blog was a huge part of my life during the year that I was writing.  The spiritual exercise of sitting down each day and focusing on my "God moments" helped me to feel His presence in a very tangible way.  From time to time, I thought it was about the writing.  I've long held onto the fantasy of becoming a writer.  But I realize it's just not me.  I also realize it was never about the writing.  I decided today to save this blog onto my hard drive because I was pretty sure I wouldn't be posting anymore.  But as I read over some of my posts, they touched me deeply - to the point of tears in some cases.  I started thinking, it's a shame that I'm not still writing this blog because it brought me so close to God.  And that's just it - it brought me so close to God.  I'm still there in that place I found when I was actively searching for Him each day.  He's become a regular part of my everyday life in a way that I had always strived for but never achieved until I did this exercise.  When I stopped writing here regularly, I thought many times "What was the point?", "What purpose did this serve?"  Now I know.  But it took this time and distance to see it clearly.  Feeling God with me - in me - all the time started right here.  It's become such a natural part of me that I can't really remember what I was like before.  This blog changed me, and reading back through these posts, I finally grasped what had always been just out of reach.  The connection I made is not broken - it never will be.  Today, I found God here.  And I found Him when I woke up, and when I opened the blinds, and when I sat down to work... I found Him everywhere.  I found Him in me.