Everlasting

Jeff and I have been watching "The Bible" series on The History Channel.  I know a lot of the stories, but seeing them brought to life is very powerful.  The thing that has struck us most is the violence.  Reading it is one thing, seeing it enacted takes it to a whole other level.  By the time Jesus comes on the scene, you just want Him to use His power to wipe out all of the violence - all of the bad people. 
In church today, we read the passion with different people reading the parts, and the congregation together reading the part of the crowd.  When it gets to the part where Pilate wants to let Jesus go, and the crowd is shouting "Crucify Him!",  I wanted to cry.  The voices of our congregation all together saying "Crucify Him!" was bad enough, but I was also imagining a huge crowd shouting it out.  How badly they needed Jesus, and they didn't even know it.  How badly our violent world needed Him (and we still do.)  So even though Jesus could have called on the power of God to wipe out that violence, He did something far greater and far more lasting.  He used His love.  He used His love to reach the world and touch millions of hearts.  And here we are 2,000 years later, and we still feel it.  We still cry for Him, and we still celebrate His ultimate gift to us.  I believe when He said, "He who believes in me shall never die", He was talking about love.  Our love for Him, and our love for each other.  That's our promise of eternity.  Who among us hasn't lost someone they cared for?  And though they're gone, our love for them lives on - everlasting.  Just like Jesus promised, and in my mind, proof of heaven.  God is with us, God is in us, now and forevermore.  Amen.

Abundance

In church today, Father Tom spoke of abundance.  How when we give, even if we feel we have little to spare, it makes what we do have feel abundant.  In his words, "...if all we see is scarcity then we cannot see with the divine vision of abundance."  It reminded me of the time after my divorce when money was so tight.  I was making barely above minimum wage at the time, and even with child support, we were stretched very thin.  But somehow, we never felt deprived.  Yes, there were things we wanted that we couldn't afford, but they were just things.  And at the end of the day, we were happy.  We still did pretty much everything we wanted - just in a less expensive way.  Pizza on Friday night was frozen pizza; vacation was paid for with money from tax returns, and it was a long weekend instead of a week; we bought all of our clothes and household needs from Kmart, and for a special treat I would let the kids pick out a candy bar or a pack of gum at the checkout.
Things got better money-wise.  I got a better paying job, and eventually I met Jeff and our two salaries combined eased the financial strain immensely.  But honestly, when I look back at those days, what I remember is being happy.  The money situation just wasn't a factor in that.  After the kids were grown, I asked them how they felt about it.  They both said they never felt deprived.  They felt they had a great childhood.  We had plenty to eat, a roof over our heads, a yearly vacation, and we always found something fun, but cheap, to do on the weekends.  Great times!  And abundance.  It dawned on me with Father Tom's words that we never dwelled on the scarcity of what we had.  We saw abundance.  God was with us always.  And in those lean times, He showed Himself so clearly to us.  We gave to each other - in the fun and laughter we shared, in the love for each other, in the warmth and security of our home.  And in that giving we found abundance.  There is no scarcity when you have love, and God is love.  Indeed, His blessings were - and still are - abundant.

Faith

While in Greece for the first time (the trip after the ship when I was three), I met my cousin, Rita.  (In Greek, we pronounce it with a sharp "t" sound, not with the "d" sound, like Reeda.)  I absolutely adored her though I can't exactly remember why.  I just know I wanted to be with her all the time.  I have a distinct memory of her holding my hand and walking through Athens, but that's all I remember.  She made such an impact on me that when my parents told me there was another baby coming, I just knew it was a girl and her name would be Rita.  Apparently, it became kind of a game for people to ask me if I thought it would be a boy or a girl.  I never wavered.  I had no doubt.  And looking back, I see it was my first act of faith.  Faith in something I couldn't see.  And guess what?  When the baby was born, and my aunt who was watching me said, "Your mom had the baby, and it's a girl!"  I said very  matter-of-factly, "I know, and her name is Rita."  My parents said they didn't have much choice with the name because I was adamant, so it was lucky that they liked it, too!

I can still remember the feeling of love and adoration I had for my cousin though I've only seen her twice since then; the last time being over 30 years ago.  And I can still remember my feeling of absolute faith.  I wish I still had that, but I think that only comes along with the innocence of a child.  As an adult, we have too much experience with loss, betrayal, and just everyday life to have that unswerving type of faith.  But it's something to strive for.  God was there with my young self, showing me what faith feels like in it's truest form.  I give thanks to Him for that.  What a blessing.

On The Ship

I've been having a lot of health issues lately.  Nothing serious; just annoying stuff.  But it seems I no sooner get over one thing then another problem crops up.  It's been this way for the past few years, and it got me thinking about my life before - when my health was better.  That in turn got me thinking how blessed I've been in my life.  I've had my share of problems with health, family, etc., but God has always been with me.  So I decided I wanted to write about that.  I wanted to go back as far as I could remember and write where I found God in my life.  As I started to picture memories in my mind, I started seeing God almost as a physical presence.  It reminded me of that scene in "The Sixth Sense" where the boy's mom starts looking through his childhood pictures and sees a mysterious light in every one.  Except this is no mystery.  I have no doubt God has been with me all along.

My first real memory is from when I was three years old.  My dad is Greek, and we were traveling to Greece on a transatlantic ocean liner to visit family.  I was on the deck of the ship, spinning around and around because I loved to watch my dress fly out around me.  The sun was shining brightly, and I could feel the warmth on my skin.  And looking back on that moment, I see God with me.  I see Him in the sun pouring His light down over me, drenching me like a fall of golden water.  All I can see with my eyes are my dress, my little arms flinging out as I twirled, and the light so blindingly bright I couldn't see more than a few feet around me.  But the security I felt, the freedom to dance and spin - that was God.  He was shining down on me before I even understood what it meant to look for Him.  I found Him there in the light and the warmth twirling on the deck of a ship in the middle of the ocean.

Glowing Daffodils

 One side of our yard doesn't get much sunlight, so not a whole lot grows there.  But sometimes our daffodils bloom.  I say "sometimes" because last year they didn't bloom.  The leaves were there but no flowers.  I had worried they wouldn't be back, so I was very excited to see the first bloom this year.  There are just a few scattered here and there.  We didn't plant them; we inherited them with the house so it's always a surprise to see where one is going to pop up.  As I said, we don't get much sun where they're planted, so the sight awaiting me after my walk this morning was extra special. As I came within sight of the yard, the flowers were glowing from the early morning sun.  One in particular was lit up as bright as the sun itself.  Those few little blooms shining in the sparse brown landscape were so beautiful to me that I laughed out loud!  We don't fertilize the ground, we don't water, and yet there they are.  It's amazing to me how they keep coming back, seemingly against all odds.  Another lesson to be learned from God's natural world.  I found Him today in those gorgeous glowing daffodils shining bright as the sun.

My Calling

This is from Steven Charleston:

I walk on, no matter how easy or difficult the path before me. I walk on in good weather and bad, under a beautiful sky, beneath a dark moon, I walk on when the road seems to pull me forward to discover what is around the next corner, or even when I need to stop for rest before I can take another step. I walk on without knowing when my journey will end, embracing the journey itself as gift, it is my life and calling. I walk on in peace, in wonder, in endless thanks that you walk with me, 
and that together we walk in faith, the road that leads us home.

 Up until I started my blog last year, I repeatedly asked God what I should be doing with my life and the gifts He had given me.  What was my calling?  I was happy with my life but had the nagging feeling I should be doing more.  Then I started my blog.  I wasn't sure that it was my calling, but I was too busy with it to worry about it.  When I finished my year of daily posting in January, it was somewhat of a relief.  I still looked for God in my day but didn't feel the pressure of verbalizing it in any coherent way.  It was back to just me and Him.  I also had lost the nagging feeling of needing to do more and that was such a blessing.  The daily writing had somehow shown me that what I had - and what I did - in my life was enough.  Then at the concert to dedicate our new church piano this past Sunday, Father Tom spoke of using our gifts.  And again, I asked the question of God - is there something else I should be doing?  I think He answered me in Steven Charleston's post on Facebook today.  I read his posts every day.  He's poetic and insightful, and I always enjoy his writing.  But this one felt like it was written just for me.  You know how that happens sometimes?  When it seems a writer has seen into your mind - your soul?  I think God used him to deliver this message to me so I can put my mind at ease.  I am truly happy with my life.  Happy to do all I can for my family and to volunteer when I can for my church.  And I finally realize that that's enough.  That "the journey itself" is a gift.  It's "my life and calling".  I use the gifts God gave me every day just by living my life the best way I know how.  That's my calling.  Yes.  God found me and blessed me today through the words of Steven Charleston.    

Early Morning Sun

Today is the last day of my daily blog.  I had set out to write here every day for a year, and somehow, by the grace of God, I managed to do it.  Some days were easy, and some days were a struggle, but the struggle usually wasn't with finding God in my day, it was in finding the words to write about it.  I think my favorite part of this whole venture was hearing where other people found God.  Because of this blog, it opened the door for them to tell me about it, and I felt so very blessed when they did.  I'm not sure yet how I'll continue.  I may not write at all for a while, but I plan to write when the spirit moves me, whenever that happens to be.  The invitation is open to anyone reading this to write here whenever they want to.  You can do it on this blog (though it makes you go through a few hoops), or you can write on the facebook page Finding God .  I'd love to hear your thoughts.  My next project is praying in color.  Pat W. mentioned it in one of our meetings a few months ago, and since then the thought has never left me.  When something keeps nagging at me, I take it as a sign from God that I need to do something about it.  I ordered some supplies a week or so ago, and coincidentally (or not?), they arrived today.  So my new project to communicate with God has started on exactly the day that my old one ended.  I find God in that.
As far as today, my last daily post, I found God in the beautiful scene over the sound this morning.  We had to drive to Virginia Beach today, and as we crossed the bridge, I looked back and saw the sun radiating through a bank of clouds.  It cast a golden beam across the water and shot rays across the sky in a way that can only be described as heavenly.  It was so beautiful it was dangerous as I kept looking over my shoulder to admire it while trying to stay in my lane on the bridge!  Such beauty is truly a gift from God, and I found Him as I crossed a bridge in more ways than one in the gorgeous early morning sun.